Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] What's going on? Y' all just here. Got it. Got to work. Got my coffee right here. Got my coffee. Going steady.
[00:00:07] Excuse me. Yesterday was a long day.
[00:00:12] Long day.
[00:00:14] You know, one of those days, you're just like, you know what?
[00:00:17] This can go in the trash. I really don't care about this. I really don't care about this day.
[00:00:23] It was one of those days.
[00:00:27] But we're here to talk about today.
[00:00:30] We're here today because I'm stalling right now.
[00:00:35] Stalling.
[00:00:37] And Roger stallback. Stalling.
[00:00:40] Stalling.
[00:00:43] Engine shut off.
[00:00:45] Turn it back on. Keep going.
[00:00:51] What am I saying?
[00:00:52] I don't know.
[00:00:54] So I set out to do one of these vlogs or whatever you call it, actually. I really don't have a plan, to be honest.
[00:01:06] I just wanted to put this on and use this microphone, talk to you guys.
[00:01:21] I don't know. Don't feel like recording stuff today.
[00:01:29] What can I talk about?
[00:01:32] I mean, I guess I'm really not feeling good about myself because I'm lagging. Not lagging, but I have a bunch of things on my plate, and I feel like I have. I'm not. I haven't.
[00:01:45] I get to the point where I get so stressed out where, like, I haven't got anywhere.
[00:01:51] And usually at that time, at those times, I need to go work out or I need to take a nap.
[00:01:58] People used to ask me when I was younger if I need therapy by. By hearing the type of music I would listen to. I'd be like, no, I don't need therapy. I need a nap and a guitar so I can play.
[00:02:15] Those two are therapy for me.
[00:02:18] Working out, too. I like working out, man. My.
[00:02:23] Was I gonna say I worked out a couple days ago, and I could feel my muscles like, like, screaming at me, like, dude, we need to go back.
[00:02:30] We need to go back. We need to work. We need. We need to work, buddy. We need to work.
[00:02:34] Put us to work.
[00:02:36] That's how I feel like my muscles are right now.
[00:02:40] Yesterday, got home super late, left super early.
[00:02:44] And I don't know, I just. Man, I just wanted to hit the sack soon as I got home, man, to be honest.
[00:02:49] My kids were there. I hadn't seen them all day, not. Not being able to spend time with them, Like.
[00:02:59] And then I get. It's at those times at nighttime when I'm really tired that it. Everything just hits me, like, oh, you're. You're. You know, all these. Now all these negative thoughts come to my mind, you know, and waking up in the morning, Today I'm just like.
[00:03:17] It's. They're not there anymore. You know what I mean? They're.
[00:03:20] It's. It's like the tiredness. That's when it comes. But right now, like, I feel rested and I'm ready to work, you know what I mean? And. And rest is. Is a huge part of life. It. A huge part of life for me because I can. I can stay up late at night, let those. Those negative thoughts get to my head, end up taking it out on my. On my family.
[00:03:42] And I don't want that. I don't want that.
[00:03:46] That toxicity to be. I don't want that toxicity to be in. In my family, in my life, because it's, You know, I'm at work all day.
[00:04:03] I'm a gentleman, you know what I mean?
[00:04:06] Most times.
[00:04:08] Not all the time, you know, but most times.
[00:04:13] And sometimes my. My patience runs really thin with. With people.
[00:04:21] And it's just the point where, like, you know what, dude? I don't want to be around people because sometimes they're. They're just.
[00:04:31] Sometimes they use. They. They utilize that patience to. To.
[00:04:36] They use it to the point where it's like you lose your sense of self.
[00:04:44] Because, like, for some people, some people may be in a relationship where that person is using that person, that. Their. Their partner's patience to. To thin. You know what I mean? And then when that person that has been giving a lot of patience finally snaps, then the. Then the other person in that relationship will be like, well, see, there it is. You're the one that's. You're the one that's bad. You're the one that's bad. But that's. That's wrong because you haven't been bad that whole time. You know what I mean? You've been patient with a person.
[00:05:15] It's them the one that are calling you out for being patient for, you know, for finally saying something, you know what I mean? And that's bad. That's wrong. That's. That's called gaslighting.
[00:05:29] If you're in a healthy relationship, you may explode, you know what I mean? But at the same time, you may be able to communicate with your spouse and be like, look, I've been patient with this, you know, I've been. I've been.
[00:05:43] Been nice about this, nice about this. You know, what's the problem? You know, and in a healthy relationship, they'll tell you, you know, they'll let you know, like, this is what happened. This is what's happening. This, this and that. Instead of, oh, you're the problem. You're the problem. You know what I mean? No, like, that's, that's not. That's an unhealthy relationship.
[00:06:02] Either that or it's bad. Bad communication, you know, I mean, you could communicate bad with your spouse in, In. In forms of, how do you say, affliction. You know what I mean?
[00:06:18] So learn how to communicate. I always harp on, like, communication because it. That's like a huge importance in relationships and family in life.
[00:06:29] Sound like a hall. I feel like I'm sounding like a Hallmark card right now, guys, but nah, man, that's just what it is. That's what it is.
[00:06:38] Communication is key. Another thing I wanted to talk about too, I had it on my mind was being out of debt.
[00:06:44] My wife and I, we don't have any debt.
[00:06:47] Like, none at all.
[00:06:50] No credit cards, no car loans, no student loans, no mortgage. Like, completely just nothing. Like, no debt. We don't owe anybody anything. And that. That's not happenstance. That this. That didn't just happen, like, out of the blue. That. That's something that we worked at for years. We've been married, you know, 12 plus years.
[00:07:13] Being financially free. That's something that you work at, you know, unless you. Unless you actually get into a marriage or into a relationship without debt. You know what I mean? Both. That. That's. That's even. That's cool too. You know what I mean?
[00:07:26] But a lot of us, we. We're trained to think that debt is good, you know, and some people still live like that, that's fine. You know, everybody has their opinion. But as for me, in my house, we don't borrow money.
[00:07:43] At one point we did because we bought into it. Like, oh, you have to have so many credit cards open, you have to make sure to pay it on time. All this other stuff, your FICO score, all this stuff.
[00:07:55] And then eventually I was like, you know what?
[00:07:58] I don't think it's so wise anymore. And once we got to that point, I talked to my. We took. My wife and I, we discussed it, we got on. On the same page about it. We knocked out all our debt.
[00:08:14] Now we're debt free, no mortgage, you know, and basically all the money that's coming in from our paycheck, put your retirement, put the savings, put the kids, college, we're being responsible with it.
[00:08:28] I mean, we have a lot of money to spend too. Like, not a lot of money, but we have a decent amount of money to spend to be able to go out to eat if we want to, you know, if we want to go watch a show or something, you know, we have that type of money to. To do that, you know, So being out of debt is very freeing. And. And it's not happenstance. It doesn't just happen. And what I was mentioning, what I was going to say before I went on my real ramble there is that whenever my wife decided to get out of debt, communication was. Was key because we had to talk about a budget, we had to talk about where our money is going. And for some. For some marriages, for some relationships, which I don't understand is that people don't talk about it. They have. People have separate bank accounts.
[00:09:21] If you have a separate bank account, that right there is already a flag. Because in a marriage, it's supposed to be everything. You know, everything is everything. Everything is your. Is yalls together. It's not.
[00:09:34] Only this is yours, only this is mine. I mean, maybe some things like maybe the car or something like that, hey, you drive this car, I drive that car most of the time, you know what I mean? But it's. But with money, put it all in one. Put it all in one pile.
[00:09:48] Because it's yalls. Both of y' all make it together, you know, and then. And then, of course, we get into pride and ego. Like, oh, you make more money than me, they make more money than me. La, la, la, yada yada, or whatever.
[00:10:00] That's pride. You're prideful. I mean, my wife makes.
[00:10:06] I think. I mean, we both make money. You know what I mean? We both make it. We put it in the same pile. We say, okay, this is. This is our pile of money. This is where it's going to go.
[00:10:14] You know, we're going to pick this, this and that, whatever. Kids, college.
[00:10:18] This is the phone bill, all this stuff. Communication about where your money is going to go.
[00:10:26] That's huge. And I think a huge. And I think a statistic is that what number one, number two problem that people fight in a. In a. In a relationship or in a marriage is they fight over money.
[00:10:41] Like, most of the arguments are over money.
[00:10:45] I mean, we don't fight. It's funny because I think about it, my. My relationship with my wife being out of debt and me having communication about our money. We don't fight about money. It's weird. Like, I think we used to fight about money when we were in debt and we didn't have any control of where it was going. We weren't communicating, we weren't budgeting.
[00:11:06] That's when we'll fight about it. But it would, it became the opposite. We would actually talk about it like, this is where the money's going. This is where this and this and that.
[00:11:15] So we don't even fight that. That's like a huge elimination of all the fights that occur in the majority of marriages. Now that that fight is gone, it's like minimal, very minuscule in, in my relationship with my wife because we decided to actually be responsible with money.
[00:11:37] We put it all in one pile. We have the same bank account. We're transparent where all the money's going.
[00:11:45] It's something I definitely think that we need to talk about as a society.
[00:11:51] Talk about before relationships, before you get into a relationship with somebody, you know, that should be one of the topics of discussion. Why not? You know what I mean?
[00:12:01] A lot of times we're afraid to talk about stuff about ourself because we want to be in this relationship, whatever, you know, we want to be in a relationship and we refuse to talk about money because we think it's taboo.
[00:12:14] No, that should be at the forefront because if you're actually considering getting married to this person or somebody, you should be. We should be knowledgeable about what's at stake and what's at hand and who that person actually is.
[00:12:28] Do you want to have kids? You know what I mean? Do you want to, you know, what church are we going to go to? You know what I mean? This is. These are the topics that you're supposed to talk to be. Talk about before marriage, before sex, before anything. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's you. That's how I think that's the best way to do it. It's a wise way to do it because if it's sex first, then you talk about it, then you get married or sex first, kids and then marriage. That, that the order is, is, is flipped. It's out of order, you know, but you can't say that in some, in some societies, in some circle, because you're wrong.
[00:13:06] You know what I mean?
[00:13:10] But yeah, just wanted to share that with you guys. Let me know what you think in the comments.
[00:13:15] Whatever, whatever questions you might have or anything, leave them in the comments.
[00:13:21] Any topics you think I might, you might want to hear me talk about. Leave it in the, in the comment section as well. You can follow me anywhere at Jesus Hilario. Hilario is my middle name.
[00:13:38] Je so that handle is at Jesus H I L A R I O H.
[00:13:47] That's the handle. You can find me anywhere. On social media.
[00:13:51] But anyways, thanks a lot, you guys, for listening. Appreciate you guys. Bye.
