Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Check test. What's going on? Yo. I see Larry Hernandez here thinking about this, my colleague that I'm working with past couple days.
[00:00:10] I used to work with them at a different job.
[00:00:14] And then in the industry that I'm in, you see, you see the guys that used to work with, right? At different jobs, different places, is one of the companies I used to work for don't work for them anymore.
[00:00:27] I still wear their hat.
[00:00:29] Because I wear hats.
[00:00:31] I'm losing my hair.
[00:00:36] I don't know. Anyway, yeah, so that, that one co, that one colleague, he's the type of colleague that you, you, you can't trust him.
[00:00:49] And for me, like, it's easy to like, forgive people, right? And then go to. Back to trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.
[00:00:57] I've tried this before with this, this co. This colleague and ex coworker at every time, every time, he always turns his back, you know, stabs you in the back, talks about you behind your back.
[00:01:11] And so it's to the point where it's. Now it's just, just basic cordial, like, hi, how's it going?
[00:01:19] Cool. See you later. You know, you know what I'm saying? And not.
[00:01:23] Not trusting in or just talking to him, trying to befriend him, even though you want to be friendly, you know what I mean? I want to be friendly. I want to be sociable. But there's just some people that you can, you, you can't be with, be like that with, you know, be court. Be friendly with, have conversation and stuff like that.
[00:01:45] And like, no matter what I do, it seems like to him that. It seems like he thinks that I'm always trying to like, one up him, like, try to be better than him. Like, if I get to the job site early before him, I think he takes it as he takes it personal, you know, And I'm just like, what. I mean, I'm tired of being that. That.
[00:02:17] I mean, I've decided, like, I don't want to be that person to like, not be me. Because you're upset or because you feel a certain way about me doing certain things?
[00:02:30] No, because if you do that, then you lose your sense of self.
[00:02:39] And I've learned this from having narcissistic family members in my life.
[00:02:44] Narciss, A narcissistic mother.
[00:02:49] That no matter what you do, try to please them.
[00:02:54] You try to please them and please them and please him is never enough. It's never enough. And it sucks because. And, and it's bad in the long run. Long run. Because you're always constantly putting yourself aside for other people.
[00:03:11] So if you have that in a family dynamic and you leave to go to the workplace, I think you want, I want to say you start subconsciously looking for that person that is like the narcissistic person in your family member to serve.
[00:03:28] Because when that, that co worker or that colleague treats you like that family member did, it seems like it might be easier for one to do what they want because you've been growing all these years with a narcissistic mother or narcissistic family member to live for them, to do for them.
[00:03:49] So it's to the point where you can be mad at me if you don't like me showing up early doing my job better than you, or so you think that's not my job to make you feel better.
[00:04:08] And for people like that, it seems like they grew up like that.
[00:04:12] Maybe they had a parent that always went to their, and went to their whims, right? Like always wanting to please them. If they start crying, oh, what can we do to help them? You know what I mean? He seems like that type of, type of person. And in my culture, the guy I'm talking about, he's like a widow. He's, he has a, like a Spanish last name and he, he's like red hair, colored eyes, you know what I mean? He, he looks like a white person, right? And, and in my culture that we call him widow. Like widows, like people that are of light skin, good looking, right?
[00:04:46] And in our culture, in my culture, a lot of times they, they're treated a lot better than the people that have just regular brown eyes and black hair like myself.
[00:04:55] So it seems like he might have grown up like that way to where they were always, you know, going to his whims. Like if he started crying, oh, how can I help mijo? You know, all this other stuff. And for people like that to go into the workplace, they start looking for that type of attention from everybody else around them.
[00:05:13] I, I, E. The, the example that I'm giving now, but my colleague, it seems like you grew up that way. And when you don't give them that, they get upset, they throw a tantrum, they start taking that out on you.
[00:05:28] You know, they, they get to the point, like it got to the point where this person was like, like rude and it's, and, and it's, it's off putting too because the same person will be like, hey, how's it going? Like, they'll act like your friend at first and then eventually you Find out that they, that they're talking about, about you behind your back.
[00:05:54] And it's, it's off putting and it's discouraging whenever you find that out. Because you, you trusted this person at the onset and now, now they're, they're like, they're, it's kind of like you think of them like, oh, now they're an enemy, right, because they betrayed you. Right.
[00:06:19] And it makes me think about, of course, I always talk about the Bible and stuff like, about your enemies would say, pray for your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you.
[00:06:28] If your enemy is hungry, feed him.
[00:06:34] That's something that's difficult to do because you have to not so much beg to their, go to their whims, but you have to humbly be cordial with them, say hello, say goodbye, but not to the point where you're doing what they want you to do.
[00:06:54] That's, that's a boundary that, that's different from being humble and you know, treating them nice because they're your enemy. Right?
[00:07:05] So you have to, we have to be able to discern and figure out, even though they're my enemy, I still have to. I mean, even, even if you think about it outside the Bible, right?
[00:07:16] If you think about it from a workplace setting, if you have enemies, it's always best to just, you know, treat them with kindness and be nice to them because you don't want the workplace to be, to be, have animosity. You don't want it to, you don't want to lose your job. You know, you could get to a point where you, you're so angry at this person, you, you, you might want to take heart, do harm on them. And what happens, you do harm on them and lose your job. Right? So in the workplace, you want to have that, that type of attitude, that type of sweetness in the, in the workplace. So that way you can do, we can all do our jobs and go home, you know, and you could still do that and not, and not do not continue to, like, I want to say, like beg to their whims.
[00:08:09] Not sure if that's the right saying, but you can still do that and not do, you know, not be yourself.
[00:08:17] So it may, it may get to it. It seems like sometimes it gets to the point where they, they get, they get angry and they get upset to where they get what they want.
[00:08:28] Like I think he does it, this person gets angry and like they may make rude comments or they may be like banging machinery next to you to scare you or, you know, there's different tactics like that so that they. So that you do get scared and don't do what you do so they can get what they want.
[00:08:51] And I decided not to do that because it's. It's not good for me. It's not good for my mental health.
[00:08:59] It's not good for me to not do the things that I want to do.
[00:09:06] Excuse me. Because we. I want to be who I want to be.
[00:09:12] If I set aside myself. If I continue to set aside myself for other people, then there's. There's no me.
[00:09:20] There's no me making this. This video about it. You know, there's no me creating things for y' all to consume.
[00:09:28] So I got to continue to be myself for the sake of myself and for the sake of those listening and watching, you know, not to the point where I have to pretend to be perfect. No, I'm far from it. I'm never going to be perfect. All I can do is be. Be. Do my job, go home, be with my family, be. And just be me and not be upset with myself because I didn't do what somebody else wanted me to do.
[00:10:01] And this. I mean, it's. It's hard because there's a lot of narcissists out there, people that want you to do for them, because they. I mean, there's a lot into that and which I'll probably talk about more later. Talk about narcissism and stuff like that, where sometimes you're doing so good, sometimes you're doing so good, you're doing the things that that narcissistic person wants to do.
[00:10:33] They want to be like you. They want to be you.
[00:10:38] And it's to the point where I noticed that they try to do things to get you to not be you so that. So they won't make them look bad, so that they don't feel bad on the inside, you know, so that they don't feel like a loser.
[00:10:52] Because that's basically sometimes what it does when you do the things that they don't want you to do. You're making them feel like you're making them feel inadequate, making them feel those feelings that they felt as a child, maybe, you know, around their parents that treated them that way.
[00:11:12] And, yeah, this is day number four, you guys. I'm trying to do a vlog post every day on, you know, the different types of topics that come to mind that I'm dealing with. And they're gonna hopefully help you, that can hopefully help you guys out.
[00:11:28] Check out my blog at Jesus Hilario H J E S U S H I L A r I o h.com and these videos will be. I'll put them in the blog post. I put the transcripts on a blog post. I clean them up, make it look nice, pleasing to the eye. You can check them out right there. That's the, the, how do you say, the written version of this video.
[00:11:57] And if you enjoy this video, like, subscribe and share.
[00:12:00] Thanks for watching. Appreciate y'. All. Bye.
