Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Here's four things that can help you overcome pride in relationships as a Christian. First thing is to admit relational pride.
[00:00:10] Proverbs chapter 16, verse 18 says, Pride goes before destruction and an arrogant spirit before a fall. Recognize when you prioritize self over others.
[00:00:21] This is very difficult to do because you want your way.
[00:00:27] A lot of times we want our way and we will, we will manipulate and use and extort those closest to us to get what we want.
[00:00:40] Whether it would be through gaslighting. I think about these narcissistic terms like gaslighting, flying monkeys, all the things that a narcissistic person basically would. Would use.
[00:00:58] And we ourselves will be. Have been guilty of it.
[00:01:04] Learning how to receive. No. In a relationship or learning how to let the person be that who they are.
[00:01:15] I remember when I got married, I learned a lot of stuff about my wife that I didn't know before getting married.
[00:01:21] Married 10 plus years, a lot of stuff. So I had to learn how to be humble in that aspect to where that person I had to be like, okay, maybe you just need to let her be her. Stop trying to control, Stop trying to, Stop trying to force her to be somebody that she is not.
[00:01:51] Let her be who she is. Find out who she is.
[00:01:56] Like for instance, my wife. I, I learned that my wife is add. She's on the autism spectrum.
[00:02:03] So I learned about autism.
[00:02:05] Like, oh shoot, no wonder, you know what I mean?
[00:02:09] So admit that you have relational pride. Admit it to yourself. Be, be honest with yourself.
[00:02:16] Second thing, pray for selfish selflessness.
[00:02:20] Pray for selflessness.
[00:02:23] Philippians chapter 2, 4 says, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others.
[00:02:33] Ask God to help you.
[00:02:35] Ask God to help you value others needs. Now this verse.
[00:02:46] When I hear this verse, I know that there is people in the church that will use it for their selfish gain.
[00:02:54] Especially narcissists will use it for.
[00:02:57] To gaslight you, to guilt trip you into.
[00:03:02] There it is again, like for them to continue to be prideful. They will use this verse. If you had it used on me before by my mother who is very selfish.
[00:03:15] For instance, like this doesn't mean. Okay, look, look. Each of you. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others.
[00:03:26] This doesn't mean to, to disrespect yourself and only look at the other person's interest and not yours, right? Because you're a person as well. You need self respect. You need self control.
[00:03:38] So respect yourself for one and two.
[00:03:42] Respect others, right? The interest of others.
[00:03:47] Take in a person's conversation, listen to what they're saying.
[00:03:50] You know what I mean? That's. Which is. This is the third thing. Listen actively. James, chapter one, verse 19.
[00:03:57] So, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. He hear other, hear others without seeking to dominate.
[00:04:13] Prideful people will listen to others for their selfish gain because they'll use what they heard to continue to be proud.
[00:04:25] You us, on the other hand, people that are trying to change from pride to humility.
[00:04:30] We will listen to others to show respect for them, to understand that they're a person as well.
[00:04:41] Right.
[00:04:43] Talking about relationships in general. Right.
[00:04:47] We have to learn to respect the other person by listening to them, by seeking to understand their point of view.
[00:04:59] Because if you're. Especially like, if you're in a church, in the body of Christ, you gotta learn that there's other people that are not like. You gotta learn that other. There's other people that are different from you.
[00:05:12] I've been like, personal, personal experience. I've been to churches where people don't accept me because.
[00:05:20] Because I'm part of the autistic, adhd, neurodivergent culture.
[00:05:26] I'm not your normal person. I go against the grain. I ask questions. And I notice that there's certain churches that want you to be a certain way.
[00:05:36] They want you to fit into their mold, and I just don't fit into it.
[00:05:40] My brain is wired differently, you know, and it got to the point, in my experience where those people, they just.
[00:05:48] They don't accept you. They make fun of you behind your back.
[00:05:52] You know what I mean? The church leaders will make funny behind your back. And that's not a fun place to be for me. That's why I chose to, you know, refrain from going to churches that are like that. When you find out that they're like that, it's like, dude, really, you know, anyway, that. That's just my personal experience. We gotta learn that there's other people that are not like us.
[00:06:16] And don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to be yourself, you know, and at the same time, respect others. Lastly, apologize sincerely.
[00:06:26] Proverbs, chapter 28, verse 13.
[00:06:28] He who conceals his sins doesn't prosper. But whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
[00:06:38] Own mistakes without defensiveness.
[00:06:42] This is huge in relationships, friendships, relationships with your kids, relationships with your spouse, all around.
[00:06:51] If you've made a mistake, if you've been prideful, recognize it, admit it to Yourself, pray for it and apologize to that person. Ask for forgiveness. I gotta do this almost on a regular, you know what I mean? Like, I got kids that have feelings.
[00:07:13] And I grew up in a household where I was meant to not have feelings because.
[00:07:20] And I'm talking in my teenage years, where I grew up, I grew up with my mother, right? In those years.
[00:07:27] And it was very toxic because I was never meant to have feelings. Right? I was, I was there.
[00:07:34] It was a relationship where I was there to please my mother, right?
[00:07:39] And I, I learned those tactics.
[00:07:42] And it's. Those are some things that I'm. I find that I'm doing to my kids, right? Like, no. And it's prideful. And I have to remember, like, that my kids are not here for me. I'm here for my kids.
[00:07:58] They're not here to please me. So when I do something to my kids that my mother used to do to me, I snap and like, oh, shoot, Miha, I'm sorry for doing that. You're not responsible for my feelings.
[00:08:14] I. I should not have done that. I. I was wrong. You know, those are huge. And when you get to the point where you can do that, that's when you know for sure that you're being less prideful.
[00:08:30] And, and don't get it twisted because there's people, narcissistic people, toxic people that will say apologies because they learned that if they apologize, they can stay in your relationship circle.
[00:08:48] So you have to be able to discern.
[00:08:50] One of the ways to be able to discern is that you yourself learn how to apologize, learn how to ask for forgiveness in relationships.
[00:09:00] That's huge. So practical tip.
[00:09:04] Practice one act of humility daily, like letting someone else speak first to build stronger relationships.
[00:09:12] And lastly, let me know how you handle pride in relationships. How. How has. Have you done any of the these things before?
[00:09:20] How are you currently working on relationships and being prideful in relationships?
[00:09:28] What has helped you in the past? What is helping you in the present? What do you think will help you in the future?
[00:09:32] Here's another video you might be interested in. Appreciate you guys. Bye.
